Waffling, or It Is All About Two Families Coming Together

A few posts ago, I weighed the pros and cons of the various locations we were considering for our location. As you may recall, Mr. C is from Connecticut, I'm from Iowa, and we live in New York. We did a lot of thinking and decided that, logistically, we were really leaning towards having the wedding in New York. We even went and looked at a really great venue that we were very very happy with. Both of us walked away imagining our wedding day there. Here's a photo of the site. Lovely, right?

via Matt Ramos Photography

The night after our venue visit, I called my parents and let them know that we'd found a place that we really liked. I'll preface this by telling you that my parents are awesome. They are exceptionally supportive, have always been there for me eve during some really tough times, and are some of the most practical minded people you'll ever meet. That's why it was such a shock that they were so upset when I told them we were looking to get married in New York. Mr. C and I had both assumed that once we laid out the practicalities of it, they'd understand and be right there with us. 

Now, they both said that no matter what, they'd be wherever we were with bells on. But, I could tell they were really unhappy. It took about a week for us to connect again, and to be honest I was over everything wedding. I cried more times than I can count, had my awesome maid of honor bring me some chocolate milk, and was generally just miserable. Finally, I got my parents sat down over Google Chat, and we were able to talk everything out. Their big suggestion was to do two separate days, one in Iowa, one in New York. Two days, two groups, hopefully with some people able to travel but really one of my family and one of his. 

Mr. C and I sat down and had a big heart-to-heart about this. I was pretty distraught, trying to figure out how we were going to work two parties into our budget, and how we would be able to make everyone happy. And then, Mr. C, in his brilliance, said the exactly right thing. "Isn't this whole process about our two families coming together, to celebrate our new family? And if we have one day with your family, and one with mine, that is kind of contrary to the point." 

So, we completely scrapped the idea of two weddings. I called my parents, and told them we were going to get married in Iowa. Mr. C's family, bless them, are totally okay with it. We'll try to do a special dinner with his grandparents and anyone else who can't make it, and try to set up some sort of live video feed for the ceremony so they can watch. We actually went over to see his parents and sister this weekend, and they really reassured me. I can't tell you how lucky I am to have this awesome family that I get to be a part of. They are really supportive, and now we can start moving forward with the actual planning of this thing!