From the Other Side

Photo courtesy of our friend Katie

Well, I am now officially a Mrs. We just returned from our honeymoon, and we are exhausted but very, very happy. I will try to go post some "recap" style posts for you, but I'm already kind of happy to be done with wedding things and moving on with real life. We got engaged in May of 2013, and I was told I was a very well organized bride, so there were lots of little details. I'm excited to get some free time back again to start doing other things.

Here's a couple of pieces I'm going to try to work on, to name a few:

• Writing a book
• Getting my ankle back in shape and then getting the rest of me there as well
• Recording and sharing my recipes
• Revisiting my museum focused blog, and reconnecting with the social media happenings in my field

100 Happy Days, Week 1

I have a couple of friends from college who are doing the #100HappyDays challenge, and posting their results to Facebook. It seemed like a good idea, and with so much stress happening in the buildup to the wedding, I thought focusing on the positive and happy couldn't hurt.

So, I've signed up for the #100HappyDays challenge. I'm now one week in, and though I'd post a compilation of this week's images here. 

Day 1, 5/24, T-99

Ah, The Moose. I could totally make this a 100DaysofMoose challenge if I wanted to. I don't, really, so I figured I'd get this one out of the way now. But gosh, isn't he so darn cute?

Day 2, 5/25, T-98
I try to avoid impulse clothing buys (hahahahha) so a couple of weeks ago when I tried this dress on at Kohl's, I was very proud of myself for walking away. But days passed, and I kept thinking about it. Wouldn't it be perfect for my July bridal shower? So, I went back and bought it, then brought it home, put it on, and twirled around. I can't WAIT until July when I get to wear it. 

Day 3, 5/27, T-98

This one was a pleasant surprise. We've got good friends Mr. C met through work. They are seriously the nicest people. They've got an adorable little house a little north of us, and they invited a bunch of us over for a bbq on Memorial Day. At one point in the evening, the husband was hanging out with Mr. C and another of our friends, and the wife and I were sitting on the porch. She ran upstairs and came down with a guitar, which I didn't realize she played, and we spent the rest of the evening sitting around and singing. Eventually the boys joined in, and by the end we were all belting songs from The Little Mermaid at the tops of our lungs. It was pretty awesome. 

Day 4, 5/27, T-97

Oooo, sparkle. It isn't really the sparkle itself that made me happy, although hard to ignore that. What really made me happy were two things connected with this photo. First is that I was there trying on the ring with Lady A. Mr. C and I had gone the week before (see previous posts), and I knew that, for myself, I'd need to go back and try some things on. Lady A came with, and was the perfect person to have with me. She knew our budget, made sure I didn't get talked into anything, and was able to articulate exactly what I was thinking. She's seriously awesome, you guys. The other part that made me happy is what my wedding band will stand for. It is the physical symbol that Mr. C and I are going to be a team. We're going to be right next to each other, supporting each other, encouraging each other, for the rest of our lives. And if that doesn't make you happy, I don't know what does. 

Day 5, 5/28, T-96

On Day 4, I didn't take a photo. I know, I know, awful right? I guess I'll have to take two somewhere along the line. I realized the problem of primarily using Instagram to document this challenge. What made me happy on May 28th was reading some of the inspirational words of Doctor Maya Angelou, who passed away that morning. She was someone who I have always admired, and her words have offered me guidance. When I was first thinking of going into the museum field, a good friend of mine sent me this quote. "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need to be lived again." I've tried to carry this with me throughout my career, to face those sometimes difficult topics that are so vital for us to preserve and keep in the public consciousness. 

Day 6, 5/29, T-95

Last week, Mr. C went down to NYC to pick out his suit and spend some time with some friends. While he was there, they got tickets to go to the barely week old 9/11 Memorial Museum. Being a museum curator, I told him he had to take a lot of pictures and copious notes for discussion after he got home. Well, he didn't take the pictures, but he did pay attention to a lot of little details that he shared with me. Then, on the evening of Day 6, I was sitting in my car after coming back from the gym while the digital creators for the exhibit were giving an interview. It was a great feeling being able to listen to their discussion, knowing that as soon as I got into the apartment, Mr. C and I could talk about it at length. 

Day 7, 5/30, T-94 

Watching the rain clouds come in. Today, the weather was very off and on. In fact, I sent my poor interns out to plant part of the garden after looking at the weather online, and we though we'd have a couple of clear hours. Within three minutes, a front passed through, and they both got soaked! I was running errands later, and as I was heading back to work I saw this great cloud. I miss really being able to watch weather move here in NY, but this was a gorgeous rain cloud coming down the valley. 

Putting a ring on it

Nothing purchased yet, but Lady A and I went and tried on bands tonight after the frustration of last week's non-fitting band fiasco. According to our jeweler, the full custom matching ring with baguette side stones and a horseshoe of diamonds would cost over $1,400. OUCH.

So, instead, I looked at options for straight across bands. At first, I was going for super skinny ones, but look at what we found!

Kabling!

The band itself was too small to fit past my knuckle, but I think it looks great. And turns out, once I was actually able to try some rings on, I really didn't mind the gap as much as I thought I would. Now let's just see if Mr. C is okay with it being about $100 over budget.....

Mirror Mirror

So, confession time. I try very hard to not be too "trendy". There is nothing wrong with chalkboards, mason jars, or striped straws, but they are just not for me. However, there is one trend I seem unable to avoid - mercury glass.

Oh, how I love it. It is elegant and pretty and can be formal or casual and is so gosh darn beautiful. Vases, jars, candleholders, you name it, I want it. But, even I know that moderation is necessary. So rather than cover every available surface in mercury glass (as much as I'd like to), I'm limiting myself to signage.

I put my dad's sisters on the task of finding old glass or mirrors.

Oh, and just for fun. Here's a list of other "trendy" things that I would love to do, but have said no to for various reasons (mostly cost and/or Mr. C's dislike of them)

• Watercolor everything. Paper, dresses, table linens. I love it. If we redid the wedding in a more outdoor setting, I would go full-on watercolor for everything I could. 
• Trees/birds. When we were first moving in together and working on selecting decor for the apartment, we quickly realized that if something was had birds and/or branches on it, I was going to love it. Especially if it was teal. While I am finding a way to sneak some branches in (you'll seeeeeeee!!) I did try to restrain myself. 
• "Vintage". I have a hard time with this term, because it can really mean anything. Old looking, quirky, distressed, there are so many things that fit into the category. Other than my mercury glass, we're avoiding this. Mr. C's taste is much more elegant, so things looking ramshackle is not his favorite. 

What about you? Any trends you're incorporating? Which ones are you leaving out?

Mind the Gap

I love my engagement ring. We searched long and hard to find the perfect setting, and Mr. C found a gorgeous center stone and it is absolutely perfect.

The problem, then, is that I never really considered what our wedding band would look like. It certainly did not even enter my mind when I was choosing an e-ring setting. I guess this is why I am terrible at chess.

Last night was Mr. C and I's one year "engageversarry". We've been meaning to go look at wedding bands for awhile, and felt like this was a good excuse. So, we went down to our jeweler's new shop (no more mall!) and took a look at what they had.

Within 15 minutes, Mr. C had picked out the ring he wanted. He walked in saying "white gold, dad ring." Aka, very simple. He ended up picking out one that was a little fancier than I'd expected him to, but it looks great. White gold, brushed in the middle, shiny on the rim on each edge. This isn't the exact ring, but it is pretty close in looks:

via Zales

For me, it was a little harder. In fact, we didn't make a decision, and I feel kind of awful. What I didn't realize when I picked my band was that, because I wanted a low profile and Mr. C gave me this beautiful, not minuscule diamond, the only way to have a flush wedding band is to custom order. Which, as you can imagine, is not cheap.

Without doing a custom order, my only options are to have a gap between my engagement ring and my wedding band. For illustration purposes, here's an image found on a Weddingbee post all about the dreaded (or not so dreaded, for some) gap.

via Mrs. Major on Weddingbee

 Her engagement ring is very, very similar to my own, except my baguettes don't taper out. There are some women who love the gap, and intentionally pick rings where it is highlighted. For me, I really am not thrilled with the idea. But, I think budget wise, it is something I'm going to have to get used to. I'm going to head back to the jewelry shop tonight or tomorrow to look some more, as I know it isn't something I'm going to be able to stop thinking about until I do some more trying on.

What do you think, gap, or no gap?

Hair & Makeup Trial

Welp, I'm officially a bad blogger. My apologies for the long delay in posting. I'll blame it on a combination of bad weather, food poisoning, a nasty cold, and general wedding fatigue. I'll address the last one in another post (probably?) but for now, I'll keep plowing through our busy Christmas planning extravaganza.

I wasn't really sure what to expect going into my hair trial, to be honest. I have very, very, very fine and thin blonde hair, and many times in the past attempted updos have left me looking quite bald. I really wanted to avoid that. I spent quite a bit of time looking around Pinterest trying to find photos that I thought would work with my hair. I wanted an updo with some volume, and with details on the side so when my veil, which is nearly opaque, is on, you can still see that my hair is done up.

Here are the ideas I brought in:

via Wedding Window

via The Knot

We tried a couple of variations, and this is what we ended up with:

Side View

From the back

Front View

At the time, I really liked it. The side wisps drove me nuts, within the hour I'd tucked them behind my ears. But now, with some distance, I'm not sure how I feel. I like the way it looks from the front, but I really don't like the side view. I'm not sure how to fix that, but when I go back in April I'm going to try again.

The other thing is that, by the time we'd gotten the braid and the poof, she had almost no hair left to make the bun at the bottom. As such, Lady A and I are going to start looking around for extensions. I've never worn them before, but I think it make be the solution we're looking for. My plan is to try to find a set of real hair clip-ins. I'll let you know how that goes!

As for the makeup, that I was less thrilled with. It didn't look bad, at all, but I made the mistake of telling her I don't wear a lot of makeup normally, so I think she was afraid to use very much on me. As a result, it actually is much softer than what I wear when I'm dressing up to go out. Unfortunately, I didn't get a great photo, but here you go:

30 minutes post trial

Obviously, there needs to be a more permanent lipstick solution. The other thing is that we're having a formal evening wedding, and I don't know that this is enough "umph" to match that. I'm also seriously considering seeing if they do lashes. As you can see, I get crinkly eyes when I smile, and I think I'd like to have some more definition.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Recipes?

Delicious Desserts - Macarons

If you read my previous post, you'll have seen that I was not 100% on the cake train. Although, if there were an actual train of cake, I could probably get on-board with that. Anyway, when we were still deciding whether or not to do cake, we decided to bring in another dessert option.

To preface this, I had the opportunity during college to live in Paris not once, but twice, during two different May Terms. The last time I was there, in 2009, I lived right off of La Place de la Madeleine. Big, beautiful Neo-Classical church, on a site line down La Rue Royale towards La Place de la Concorde. I know all of that might mean nothing to you, but the salient point here is that in the Place Madeleine is a pretty little shop called Ladurée, of macaron fame. It isn't their biggest shop, but that didn't make it any less tempting. I did manage to avoid eating macarons every single day, but definitely managed to make a few visits every week.

Left to Right: Raspberry, Coffee, Pumpkin Spice, Pistachio (2), Lavender White Chocolate

What all of that means for the wedding, really, is that I wanted macarons. And, luckily for me, there's a wonderful little French cafe in Des Moines called La Mie. My mom goes there quite a bit, uses it for informal meetings for work, and she raves about their macarons.

So, on Monday, BM S, Brother E, his girlfriend A, Mr. C and I met at La Mie to taste some macarons. As BM S is expecting a little bee in July, she abstained from any of the creme filled (aka raw egg) macarons, but she did get to help me taste my favorite, raspberry. We decided we're going to order 300 macarons (for 150 guests), in each flavor except the Lavendar White Chocolate. It didn't do a lot for me. The coffee didn't either, but Mr. C loves coffee so I figured I'd give him that one.

Mmm.....macarons

Now, two questions remain. First, we have to pick up the macarons the day before the wedding as the cafe is closed on Sundays, and find enough refrigerator storage to keep them all cold. This may mean spreading them out between bridesmaids, their parents, and some local family friends with the hope that they all get to the venue in time. I'm also going to try talking to our caterers to see if they have storage space for them in a big fridge somewhere.

The other question is, how do we want to display them? I'll come back to that, I promise. For now, I'm going to leave you hanging :)

Delicious Desserts - Cake

I will be perfectly honest, Mr. C and I are not huge cake people. I mean, if somebody sets a piece of cake in front of me, I will eat it, although that may be more of a statement of my willpower than my cake preference. Mr. C is pretty much in the same boat. Ice cream, pie, tortes, cookies, crepes, custards, you name them, we eat them. But cake definitely isn't our go to.

However, when we mentioned our thought of ditching cake altogether to our respective parents, they suggested that even if the tow of us didn't want cake, most people come to a wedding expecting cake. And, as much as we are okay with changing things up, we figured this was not the hill to die on.

So, on Thursday we found ourselves at the local grocery store, tasting cake. And, I will admit, as there were pieces of cake (mostly in cupcake form) set in front of me, I ate them and they were yummy. Because I'm a bad blogger, I didn't take any pictures. We tried four flavors; vanilla, chocolate, champagne, and red velvet. The vanilla and chocolate tasted pretty average. Not bad, but hey if we were going to have cake it may as well be delicious. And look pretty.

Imagine this, except two tiers and without the flowers on the side - via The Knot

Going in, I knew that we wanted to do a couple of smaller tiers, then the rest in sheet cakes. We chose two flavors; champagne and red velvet. In the tasting, the champagne cake was violent, neon pink. The baker said they actually tint it, and for our cake she'd have them tone it down to a pale blush. Perfect, non? So, we're doing that on the top layer, and the red velvet on the bottom. Then we'll do two sheets, one of each. Also, for no charge, they're going to add our monogram to the top of each of the cut sheet pieces.

For not having been thrilled about the idea of cake, I'm actually pretty happy with how it is going. Our initial plan is to have the florist drop off a ribbon for the baker to use, but after thinking about it for awhile, I want to see if they can do something that is edible. If not, ribbon is fine, but a little painted gold band would be lovely. We got a beautiful serving set as a gift from family friends of Mr. C, which was totally unexpected but that I am very happy to have. Now, the only thing is to find a cake stand!

It's not heaven...

It is our new cutting board!

Mr. C's mom is awesome, and gave it to me in an awesome cutting board in the shape of my beloved home state. Mr C. and I both decided that we'd prefer to keep it looking pretty, so he hung it up over our sink in a place of honor.

Awesome, right?

This is both a chance to show off my awesome gift, and also a lead-in to what Id id over my Christmas vacation. We started off in CT at Mr. C's family family for "Fakemas" and too much junk food, then headed back to my homeland from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day. It was awesome, and we also got SO much wedding planning done! Over the next few days, I'll break down the various appointments/tastings/trials that we had to catch you up, but for now, here's an overview:

Thursday
- Dinner at Rehearsal Dinner Option #1

Friday
- Cake Tasting
- Wedding Catering Tasting
- Venue Visit

Saturday
- Linen Rental Visit
- Bridesmaid Dresses Ordered

Sunday
- Engagement Photos
- Mom's Dress Ordered

Monday
- Hair and Makeup Trial
- Macaron Tasting
- Florist Meeting

Tuesday
- Lunch at Rehearsal Dinner Option #2

In addition to all of that, I also got my likely wedding shoes (yay!), got most of the work done on the wedding website, and have a design for our Save the Date magnets that is now awaiting a final proof of an engagement photo before heading off to the printers.

Our Best Friends Wedding

This weekend, we had the pleasure and the honor of heading to Greenville, South Carolina to celebrate the wedding of GM J and his new wife. The wedding party was just the siblings of the bride and groom, so Mr. C was an usher. They were a gorgeous couple, and the wedding was so much fun.

Two things really came out of the wedding for me. First, I feel reinvigorated for planning our own. Mr. C went down to South Carolina on Wednesday, and MaidoH A and I followed on Friday. On the trip back up, she and I had a four hour layover in Newark, and we spent a good hour of it talking about our wedding. We also walked through the duty free shops testing out perfumes. I think I may fall prey to the wedding day scent trend. What was nice though, is that after a few months of a lot of frustrations with work and ignoring wedding planning to be excited again. Some of the guests at this wedding will also be at ours!

The other piece of it was a very touching moment. The bride surprised me and handed me her bouquet at the end of the reception. I was honored and thrilled, and definitely carried it around with me the rest of the evening. Now I have their beautiful bouquet and Mr. C's boutonniere, and I'm trying to find something special to do with them that I can send back to the couple. I have two ideas, and I may do both.

Option # 1 - Blossoms and Memories Jewelry

Bird Necklace via Blossoms and Memory

I found this option online this morning while I was browsing around, and I really like it. You send in dried flowers from the bouquet, and they are made into beautiful pieces of jewelry. The best part is that they keep any extra beads for awhile, so if the bride really likes it, they can have jewelry made for their mothers. It is something I think Mr. C's mom would like to have.

Option # 2 - Bouquet Ornament

Wedding Ornament via Shop Ruche

This one was my original plan, basically from the moment she handed me the flowers. I saw it on Pinterest quite awhile ago, but really like it. You take petals from the bouquet and very gently put them inside of a large clear Christmas ornament. I like this one too because she has some very pretty crystals intermixed with the flowers, and I think this would look awesome on their Christmas tree.

New York indeed.

PS - I know Mr. C can sing. He sings in the car, he sang in the choir back at reunion, when we go to church and stand next to each other, I hear him sing. But. BUT. Oh my gosh. They had karaoke at the reception, and the groom finally convinced Mr. C to sing "New York, New York." Gotta love my Yankee. But, holy bovine, folks. Here's a photo of me literally fanning myself off because of the waves of hotness pouring off of my crooning fiance.

Wishing, Hoping, Thinkin, and Prayin for A Lottery Win

When people say wedding, I almost always think of this song from My Best Friend's Wedding:

To me, wedding planning so far has been lots of wishing, praying, hoping, and planning. Luckily I've got an incredible team in my corner. They're incredibly supportive, and I can bounce ideas off of them all the time. Eventually, I'll do posts on each of them, so you can see how lucky I've been to have this network that is there to help me out, listen to my ideas, and call me out when I'm being an idiot.

That said, Mr. Burg, MaidoH A, and MatronoH K often get sent pictures or blogs of things that I've found that are awesome. I try to limit myself to things I'll actually be able to use, but every now and then fancy things that are nowhere near our budget catch my eye. We're exceptionally lucky and are receiving financial support from my parents and from Mr. C's, but I don't want to blow their money.

But, as is bound to happen, every so often something sparkly or fun or just downright amazing catches my eye and makes me wish I didn't have student loan bills or you know, basic living expenses so I could spend all of my money on these things. In addition to the finances, some things just seem logistically difficult. Especially when you consider we're in NY and the wedding is in Iowa. Makes things tough sometimes, but that doesn't mean a girl can't dream. Here's a few prime examples:

Rose Trove Necklace via BHLDN

Take for instance this lovely, elegant statement necklace from BHLDN. It is pearl and blush, which are my two accent colors and would look AWESOME with my dress. The only problem. $480. I can't really justify spending $20 less than my wedding gown on the necklace to wear with it. It sure is pretty though.

Flower Arch by Cherries, via Wildflower Linens

Ah, the flower arch. With big, beautiful, puffy, soft, gorgeous flowers that are probably peonies and we're getting married in August. Now, I haven't totally given up on the idea of a floral arch, and Mr. C actually suggested the idea, but I have a hunch this would take a big chunk out of our budget.

Custom Designed Lace Overlay via Wildflower Linens

This is from the same wedding as the arch from above. Can you tell that I love this wedding? Visually it just has a lot of the softness and elegance that I love, plus that blue color is exactly what I'm aiming for. And I adore the look of this lace overlay on the tablecloth, but yeah, custom designed table linens are WAY out of the budget.

Bakery Beauty Dress via Modcloth (no longer available)

Oh boy. There are some really freaking adorable little white dresses out there. And how adorable are they for things like bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and rehearsal dinners? I wish I could afford one dress for each wedding related event. After all, how many times in your life are you a bride? But I really don't think I can justify spending the money on a new dress for each event. Perhaps this will be a little splurge where I find one dress that will work for multiple events? Or maybe I'll just keep scoping out Kohls, Target, and Marshalls and see if anything jumps out at me. MaidoH A is awesome at scoring deals, so maybe I can ask her to keep her eyes peeled for a good deal.

Book Backdrop via kachergina

Oh boy. I want this. Like, I'd forgotten about it until just now and going back into my Pinterest boards and I found it again. This one isn't so much the financial difficulty (although that many books isn't cheap) as the logistics. In the original iteration, this is actually one of two of these little displays, set into a larger wall. I'm not sure how you could do it to make it free-standing. And if we could do it, I'd want to try to find a way to move it down from the ceremony down to the reception.

Unity Ceremony Glass via UnityinGlass

This is the one I may actually see if I can find a way to make it happen. I haven't yet met a unity ceremony idea that I'm completely enamored with, other than copying my parents idea of giving each other trees. But then tonight, I stumbled across this. I adore glass. One of the neatest museums I've been to (and I've been to a LOT of museums) is the Corning Museum of Glass. What made the trip really phenomenal was getting to do a couple of the workshops while we were there. I also dropped quite a bit of cash in their gift shop, getting ornaments for my whole family. So, when I saw this, I was intrigued. Rather than a simple sand blending ceremony, you purchase various sand colors from the artist. After you've blended them during your ceremony, they form them into these beautiful sculptures or bowls that you can keep forever. You can also purchase ornaments or glass hearts with "your" glass after you've bought the sculpture or bowl. They start at $379 for the sculpture, but man how amazing would it be to have that in your home forever? This may be one of my big wedding splurges.

Long time no blog

Apologies for the delay in blogging. Although I won't get into it too much here, my work situation has been exceptionally difficult lately, and has made it hard to focus on things like planning the wedding, coming up with creative recipes, or sprucing up the apartment.

Luckily, we're at a point at least with the wedding where we don't have any immediate to-do's on our list. I'm trying to take the week before Christmas to go back to Iowa, both to see my family and also to do things like meet with florists, go dress shopping with my girls, and actually sit down with my Matron o' H and Bridesmaid S to talk about things. Mr. C will join me at the end of the week to visit the venue, try some macaroons (instead of cake?), and also hopefully do our engagement photos.

The big exciting news right now is that my parents will be visiting for almost a week at the very beginning of November. I haven't seen them since April, which is way, way, way too long. I'm really excited. And, actually, while we'll spend most of the time just enjoying each others company, there are some wedding tasks as well.

First, I get to (finally) show my mom my dress. I actually thought I would call the salon where I bought it to see if they'd mind us coming in to try it on there. Since she wasn't with me when I bought it, maybe that's a way we can still get that experience.

Secondly, we're also looking for my mom's dress! I was browsing around on Pinterest awhile back and saw this beauty:

via Nordstrom

It is out of the box for my mom, but I think its still very pretty and looks comfortable. Plus the navy I think will go well with the dusty blue for the girls. I sent it to her, and she's ordering it. She'll have it sent to my apartment out here, so she can try it on while she's visiting.

And finally, this will be the first time my parents meet Mr. C's parents. We're really looking forward to that. I love his parents, and am so grateful for the support they've provided me already, and am so happy to be acquiring them as my own family. I'm really excited for them to meet each other, especially because we see a lot of similarities between my mom and Mr. C's dad. Should be fun to see them together in person!

Picture vs. Reality

For a long time, when I thought of what my wedding day would look like, the pictures in my head looked something like this:

via Bridal Guide

But, that would be a wedding all about me. And I don't want that! The whole point of this is Mr. C and I joining together, so the wedding needs to reflect that. The wedding that Mr. C and I are having is taking place here:

via Des Moines Register

What that means, then, is that I'm having to figure out how to transition the ideas that I had for the first picture into the reality for the second picture. And I'll be honest with you, I haven't figured it out. I've let it stress me out for WEEKS now.

Finally, last night, I realized that it was probably time to call in the professionals. This morning, I called the florist my family has used since forever. We didn't talk flowers, or centerpieces, or bouquets, but they are sending me some information.

Even more reassuring for me was the fact that they did a wedding for a couple who lived in Oregon, and who the florist never actually saw in person. We'll be going back home in December, and so we won't have to be that drastic, but knowing that they are comfortable with long distance correspondence is reassuring.

I'll have to talk with them about more specific flowers and centerpieces and all that before we book with them, of course, but I think I'd forgotten that there are people that do this for a living and was just sort of expecting myself to have to have all of the answers figured out. Thank goodness that's not the case!

Once Upon a Time...

Although nothing is official yet in terms of bridesmaids dresses, the style is still up for grabs. But, I've been spending quite a bit of time looking at swatches compared to the styles I tried on with MaidoH A and FSIL C, and I have a pretty decent direction we're moving in. I still want to try dresses with my other three lovely ladies, but that will have to wait until I get back to Iowa (and possibly down to Oklahoma, or get BM E up to Iowa at the same time).

Anyway, after seeing it pop on Facebook a number of times, I logged on to Weddington Way. If you are thinking you've got a color family you like, but want to see the options (with the understanding that digital is different, of course) then Weddington Way is a great resource. They allow you to browse dresses not just by blue, but by different categories of blue, then all the way down to specific colors by designers. Or, you can choose features of a style you like (i.e. short, one shoulder, and satin) and see what colors are available.

The other thing that was AMAZING, was getting one free swatch of ANY of the colors. And, because I was able to narrow down between colors I'd liked and the styles the girls had tried on, I was able to pinpoint Alfred Angelo's Once Upon a Time.

Here's the number one contender right now:

via Weddington Way

Adorable, right? I got the swatch in the mail, and it is (to me at least) a barely tiny bit greener blue/grey than the one you see above, which at least on my computer has purplish undertones. I was admiring the swatch, noting how pretty it was and how much I liked it, when it hit me.

I'd seen this color before.

Mr. Moose was not impressed

The swatch is a slightly more blue of pretty much our entire living room's decor. The paint on our walls, which was based off of the blue in the painting Mr. C's mom got for me after grad school graduation, the blanket and pillows I've had since college, you name it, I probably have it in that color. At least I'm consistent?

What Is a Wife?

So far in the wedding planning process, I've been finding myself reading a lot. Those of you who know me aren't shocked by this. I was the girl who got detention in 6th grade for reading in my reading class. Yup. So naturally, I'd turn to a variety of books and blogs to help me navigate this process. What I've found is that, although it is nice knowing the seventeen ways to fold napkins to make your reception tables look nice, I am searching for what happens that next day.

One of my favorite blogs so far is called A Practical Wedding. I'd got a few of the posts that had popped onto my Pinterest feed, and was intrigued enough that I'm slowly working my way through her archives, from old to new. My favorite part, beyond the just utterly brilliant snark, the unwavering support for equality in marriage, and the sheer levelheadedness of it is the emphasis not so much on the one day as the living your life with another person from that day forward.

In the recent stretch that I've read, there have been a number of posts about defining "wife". What exactly does that mean? How defines it, and how? Sure, we've got the religious and legal definitions. But even those are sticky, as currently only 13 out of our 50 states have bothered to get their heads out of their bums and woken up to equal rights. And, I'm not really down with that whole subservience thing that I often feel gets pushed in the religious quadrent, at least the Catholic part I grew up in.

The other component of this, as Meg over at APW points out, is the often quick transfer of titles from wife to mother. And this is where it sometimes get sticky. Over at her blog, it became an unintended Mom duke fest between Stay at Homes who are happy with their choice and Go To Works who are also happy with their choice. You also had those groups on the sidelines watching it go down; the I Don't Want Kids Evers, the I Don't Want Kids Right Nows, the Maybe Maybe Nots, and the Been Trying But Cannots.

Right now, today at least, I don't necessarily have the answers. I'm going to keep reading the APW posts, because she seems to be in a similar mindset to myself. I'm also reading through the Iowa marriage law, and what legally at least it means. I also have a good friend, soon to be known as Pastor A, and I'll maybe see if I can chat with her about it some.

Mr. C and I during our first Valentine's Day together

To me, right now, being Mr. C's wife means that I will be on his team, no matter what. Everything I do from this point on isn't just about me, it is about our team. And that I can trust him to be on my team too. I know there's more to it than that, but for today at least that seems to be enough.

Finding the Dress: Part 2

Miss part one? Find it here!

I walked out of the bridal store, drove home, tried calling my mom to no avail, frantically googled the a-line dress, and sent MaidoH A a message on gchat:

Me: hey, do you have a night free this week? (See how calm and collected I am?)
A: we could do something after crossfit. i am normally done around 8
Me: mmm k (less calm and collected)
A: or we could hang out before (what an awesome friend)
Me: because I either messed up big time or did something awesome
A: ohhh?
Me: I went to the dress shop on Union
A: ok
Me: two reasons, one because I wanted to see the swatches they had for bridesmaids dresses
Me: but also because last week was absolute (bad word) and I wanted to look at pretty things.

Then I sent her a link to the a-line silk dress.

A: whoa. that's cool.
Me: yeah. it is this almost goldish blush ivory color. gorgeous
A: ohhh fancy
Me: Normally $3,000+, and on sale for the next week for $500
A: ok
Me: so I was hoping we could find a time when you could come with me so I could try it on for you
A: yeah def
Me: It is the first dress I felt comfortable in.
A: I can leave work
A: and go now

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why MaidoH A is AWESOME. She left work, and met me over at the bridal shop. We walked in, walked down to the fitting room, and tried on the dress. And guys, seeing her reaction, I knew beyond a doubt it was the dress. We tried it on with two different veils, but she loved the one that matched perfectly. It is the sort of creamy silk with little seed pearls on it. Gorgeous.

Back of the dress and the veil. Don't say I never gave you anything!

I am not sure yet about the hair flower, but if we do we'll make one ourselves because that one was RIDICULOUSLY expensive. But, now you can see the veil, and somewhat the color. After taking some photos and videos to send to my mom (who is currently in Alaska on vacation) we left.

I, probably obnoxiously, called my mom several times that evening in between the event I had to be at for work, and finally she had the chance to look at the photos. I was really worried she would be disappointed to not have found the dress with me, but when I told her the price, she said "don't be stupid, buy the dress." So, the next day, right after work, I went back and bought the dress and the veil.

The good and the bad is that, because it is off the rack, they let me take it home. This will be great as I find shoes and jewelry, and can actually put the dress on to compare them. It is really terrible, because I now have to go the next 13 months without blurting the whole thing out to my best friend (aka Mr. C). MaidoH A bit the bullet for me and it is now hanging in her apartment instead of ours, so at least the temptation is less, but I still want to go over and try it on every single day. I guess that's a good sign!

Finding the Dress:Part 1

A week ago today, I was in rough shape. Things at my job have been difficult, I was feeling a lot of wedding and non-wedding related stress, and it just wasn't pretty. I was trying to narrow down the bridesmaids options, as the sooner we can get those figured out the earlier we can watch for sales so the girls don't have to sell any organs. I drove over to one of the bridal shops in our town to look at swatches for the bridesmaids dresses, to see if the designers they carried actually had anything in the colors I liked.

As often happens at bridal shops, I walked in the door and was blinded by a sea of white and sparkles. Except this time, I sighed in a, oh aren't those pretty sort of way. And since our last trip had left me with a pretty solid idea of what I was looking for, I decided to ask if they had time for me to try on some gowns. My goal was to find maybe not the exact dress but definitely one or two stores that had what I was looking for, so when my mom comes out to visit in the fall we could actually buy something.

The owner of the store helped me, and after describing my last dress experience and what I was looking for, let me walk through the racks on my own. They were starting a large sale to clear stock for the fall, and so I went through those dresses first. I took one pass down the line, and actually pulled the same dress twice, once in ivory and once in blush. It was exactly what I'd had in mind. Fit and flare, soft skirt, sweetheart neckline, and an un-obnoxious train. I put the blush back, added the ivory to the rack and kept walking.

There wasn't anything else  that really jumped out and said "pick me" so I walked back along the line one more time to make sure I didn't miss anything. I grabbed a few more gowns in a similar style, plus one that was a silk a-line, but had a fun feature that MaidoH A and I had been laughing about in our first store.

I headed down to the dressing room where the owner helped me into the gowns. I think she was impressed by how quickly I could decide, but I figured there was no reason to doddle once I'd figured out it wasn't "my" dress. Slowly we made it through the stack, discarding left and right, even the twice pulled dress from the sale rack. The next dress was a gorgeous soft netting, almost a mermaid with a sweetheart neckline and beading along the bottom of the bodice, rather than in the middle or the top.

Imagine this, but with bling along the top of the skirt. via Dress for the Wedding

I put it on, goose-stepped out to the mirror, and paused. It was gorgeous. It actually gave me a shape. There was little obnoxious train to speak of. When she added a sparkly belt and a veil, I thought, alright I need my mom to come see this. I stayed and admired the fact that I actually had shape for awhile, before shuffling back to the dressing room. I say shuffling because the bodice/skirt junction was mid-thigh, and made it a little tricky to take a full step. Not ideal, but it looked good.

I decided, for the sake of the argument, to try on the last two dresses that I'd pulled; the a-line silk with the fun detail, and a gorgeous beaded gown in silver. Neither of them was a serious contender after the last dress, but I figured if I was still thinking about it after trying on others, that was a good sign.

I put on the a-line, walked out, and froze. All of the sudden I had a picture in my head, one of the photos I've seen of our venue, from the back of the aisle looking up towards the groom. I stepped up onto the little box, and just stared for awhile. It was completely different than what I'd expected. The color is different, the silhouette, the skirt, all of it. Not what I thought I was looking for at all. I thought I'd wanted the princess on bottom slightly sexy on top fit and flare, and yet, in this dress, I felt like me. Then she added a veil that matched, and I felt something click. And oh yeah. Didn't hurt that it is a normally $3,000+ dress on sale this week only for $500. No pressure, right?

I stared for a long time before walking back to the dressing room. I tried on the silver gown. Gorgeous, but more Hollywood than wedding. I put back on the fit and flare. I still liked it. I looked awesome in it. I knew I had a few phone calls to make. We wrote down all of the numbers for the gowns and veils, and I walked out the door.

A Lovely Sunday Dress Shopping Excursion: David's

Our final stop for the day was the nearby David's Bridal. After two small, local owned places, it was a bit of a shock to the system to walk into the near warehouse sized space filled to the brim with white fluffiness. It was exceptionally overwhelming, even after having narrowed down what we were looking for on both the bridal and bridesmaids sides of things.

I'd made an appointment, but when we checked in she told us that their preference was to wait until I'd selected my bridal gown before looking at bridesmaids dresses, so they could match. Huh? I told her that although we hadn't purchased my gown, we had a good idea what we were looking for, and still wanted to try both as I'd indicated when making the appointment.

We wandered around for awhile, and realized that although they have a new blue color called Bluebird that looks like it should be a dusty blue, it is actually periwinkle, and very very purple looking. Not what we were going for. But, never fear, having so many different styles would give us the chance to see how things looked, even if we weren't going to find the perfect color.

First up, we walked through every single bridal row with our very helpful and nice consultant. We pulled a number of dresses that looked hopeful, almost all of which were of the same vein as earlier. The only real exception was one very pretty Melissa Sweet ballgown that caught our eyes. I haven't been a big fan of lots of embellishment, but having it under the tulle was really pretty.

Alas, after trying on a good dozen dresses, there was really nothing that worked. I was noticing a definite difference in the quality of the dresses, especially in the thickness of the fabric. There were several dresses where the boning showed through the bodices of the gowns, which isn't for me.

After disregarding the bridal gowns, we turned to bridesmaids. Here, we were much more successful. The great thing about David's is that my two differently built maids could try on the same style gown at the same time, which gave us a great comparison.

Here's what we liked:

Quite simply, this one didn't wow us. Plus, the ruching in the center looked a bit odd. 

Standard, pretty bridesmaid dresses. The pleating on the skirt was distracting, and didn't really flatter.

We were getting closer, but weren't in love with the pencil skirts

Ding ding ding! Both girls looked gorgeous in these!!

Although we may not end up going with David's Bridal because of the color component, we definitely figured out the type of dress we were going for. And, after sending the photos to my other maids, they all agreed and liked this one! The black Alfred Angelo one shoulder from the first shop was very similar to this, so we might see if we can track that down anywhere in their dusty blue color!!

A Lovely Sunday Dress Shopping Excursion: Jocelynn's

After our first shop and a stop at Olive Garden for pasta, far too many breadsticks, and a flirty waiter boy (go MaidoH A!), we went to the second shop in our epic Sunday Dresss Shopping Excursion. We decided, since they carried most of the same bridesmaids dresses, to stick purely with bridal here. Plus, it was my first time trying on bridal gowns, and I was a little anxious to see if what I thought I liked would actually be what I liked on.

Turns out, it wasn't, at all. I had identified three different styles of dresses that I kept coming back to. The first, MaidoH A calls Structured Grecian. Basically, flowing chiffon skirt but with a fitted bodice and top, strapless or one shoulder. The second is the Poofy Princess. Big, full skirt in any variety of fabric with a sweetheart neckline. Then the last, and the one that surprised me as the favorite of the day, is the Fit-n-Flare. I really didn't expect that, but over and over again I kept coming back to those as my favorite.

1. Dress number one, the dress that got an emotional reaction out of MaidoH A and FSIL C, was an asymmetrical draped net fit and flare from Blu by Mori Lee.

via Mori Lee, shown here with separate caplet

It was nice because it had the softness that I tend to like, but the shape that I think really flattered me. We tried it on with a belt, and eventually a veil, and it looked pretty darn good. In the store, this one was number one. The problem for me now is that we didn't get any photos of me in it without the veil, and I don't love the veil I had on. So, I'm wondering if that's skewing my perspective. Here's a shot of my in the gown from the back:

2. Dress number two was actually one that I had previously pinned on my Pinterest boards, but had wondered if it would be too "much" once it was actually on. This was the Divina from Maggie Sottero, and although their picture is in a blush color, I tried it on in white and with a white and crystal belt. 

via Maggie Sottero

Honestly, this one ranked 4th in the store. I liked it, I liked the mix of fabrics in the skirt, but it didn't strike me quite as much as the other ones did. Here's an angle shot of me in the Divina:

Excuse the awkward arms

3. The third dress was another Maggie Sottero, this one called Jenna. Laugh if you get the joke. 

via Elegant Lace Bridal

Anyway, this was one I would have completely passed over looking at it online, and in fact did so again when I was trying to find it by browsing. But, on, it was a different story. 

We liked this dress, but it was hard to tell because it was a HUGE size, so we were having a hard time visualizing what it would look like. Even after our wonderful consultant lady helped lace me up, it still was hard to get a picture. But, it was very pretty. Probably walked out with this one at the #2 spot, but that could be contested because it was very, very difficult to walk in the dress. It was massively heavy, and the lovely skirt was very thick, making it impossible to do anything other than little baby steps. 

4. Last but not least was the Alfred Angelo Sleeping Beauty gown. Now, my four girls from home and I love Disney, and each have a princess of our own. Mine is, you guessed it, Sleeping Beauty. 

via Alfred Angelo

I wanted to try this gown on for sentimentality's sake, but ended up really liking it. It was one of the later ones I tried on, and after dresses that felt like they weighed tons, it was a relief to be in something so light and soft. 

See how light that skirt looks?

This dress probably came in at number 3 for me while we were at the shop. But now, looking at pictures (and I do have pictures of the fronts, but I don't want to give too much away!) this one is my favorite. It just has an element of softness that I don't see in the other three. The one thing I wish was different is the back. I loved the shape that I got when we had the lace up backs, and you can't quite get the same thing with the zipper. 

So, for now, this gave us a definite direction as far as styles of dresses to look for. Gone are the Structured Grecians, gone are the Poofy Princesses, and we're pretty solidly in the land of Fit-n-Flares. I didn't buy anything, as I'll need my mom with me when I do that, but it gave us a good foundation to build off of!

Next up, part three!

A Lovely Sunday Dress Shopping Excursion: Danielle's

On Sunday, I had an amazing but exhausting day with my MaidoH, aka and my FSIL. We went to three different bridal shops in the area (the only ones open on Sundays) and tried on both bridesmaids and bridal gowns.

At our first shop, we looked at bridesmaids dresses. When I called earlier in the week, they told me they didn't take appointments, and when we got there they let us look through samples to see which designers have the color I'm looking for, and then just pull whatever we wanted to try on. It was pretty chaotic, but actually I think worked pretty well. We're aiming for something a little more formal to keep up with the venue, and hopefully in a dusty blue color, ala this inspiration board:

via Chic Vintage Brides

Looking through swatches, we decided to focus on gowns from the designers Alfred Angelo and Jasmine. The other consideration is that I, like many, have a wide variety of heights and busts for my girls, and want to find something that everyone is going to feel comfortable and beautiful in. This meant we were looking for things that had at least one strap, and a thick enough strap to hide a bra. Sorry, spaghetti!

Here's what we came up with"

Liked the Alfred Angelo in red on FSIL C, although in retrospect the flower seems a bit big. MaidoH A looked adorable in this light blue Alfred Angelo, but we decided that anything chiffon seemed a bit informal compared to the venue. 

We all universally hated the yellow color on this one, but thought this style from Jasmine's B2 line was cute 

MaidoH A rocked this gown, although turns out that it is actually by Jordan and doesn't come in our color

Now I had MaidoH A try this one on not for the style but for the color, which is Alfred Angelo's Once Upon a Time and the closest we'll get from them to my blue. The dress FSIL C is wearing doesn't show very well here as it is way too big on her, but was another Alfred Angelo and probably the dress we liked the best from the first shop!